So, here it is, the adage goes that what happens on tour stays on tour. nothing nasty is placed within here. These may not be the views held by every person on the game trip. and the club takes no responsibility for any text held within this post. Names have not been changed to protect the guilty.
The morning started cloudy and in a rush, a new fine system had been set in place whereby anyone late for the bus was fined a 12 pack and missing the bus a case. so whilst i sprinted the last few 100m so as not to be late, i was more than pleasantly surprised to find everyone there already, not on time but in fact early.
The bus pulled up and we piled in, the fitness coach being fitter than everyone else was in 1st and was thus elected Head Master, another new trick to the day. Head master puts his head somewhere, the whole team has to copy, last to do it is fined. and the fine is simple and rolls easy of the tongue - half of what you have.
Seb was in 4th and was upped as Statue master, same as head master but statue master strikes a pose.
The bus driver and his 2 wingman, also known as the sole income for Belmont cigarettes requested we set off, but lo and behold and with no real surprise, 1 person was missing. The coach. he came, was fined, and accepted it. must be a 1st
The trip got under way and the ambience was quiet, a few select DVD's were produced only to find no dvd player available - *note to TM, next time better*
So silence was the word of the day. but it did bring our attentions to what it is to be young and in love. nothing is more sweeter, cuter, and sickening than seeing 2 young lovers sleeping hand in hand. Yep, Prop spice, the OG had a romantic moment. the bus rumbled on and nothing was noticeable to report.
the stop off at the gas station saw a peaceful order of food and eating, until the statue master stood on his chair and struck a pose, 22 followed suit and mr & mrs jones almost choked on their coffee and donut. 1st statue done, success rate - pretty good
we arrived at the pitch just in time, to wait 2 hours before the kick off, balls were tossed around, and many had the call of #2. but with no runnning water, no toilet apart from a fly infested bush and a blocked toilet on the bus. there were clenched cheeks all round.
Ville had been named as team captain
The team was read out and everyone changed. confidence was in the air. warm ups were done and kick off was anticipated.
As i was playing in a position which required me to get stuck in, and i found myself at the bottom of many a ruck various details were missed. what wasn't missed was the similar style of play that we saw in MRT, the game started off quite fast but after a few stoppages the call was placed to slow it down and play at our own pace. achieved, tries were scored, conversions converted. and also some mishaps.
The Red Fox had a darting run, but then decided to pull up short of the try line. such a young virile lad who couldn't finish it. but this was nothing compared to Avea, after brushing off several bodies that were hanging off his boot laces, shorts and chest hairs, he saw the line, reached, dived, dropped, the ball..... apparently it was on the line, and on the line is a try but our eagle eyed referee called it and a scrum 5 was on.
Dick of the day was instantly found. - The Fire Dancer Avea
the game carried on with Turku only getting a 5 minute glimpse of our 22 area. in the 2nd half more tries could've been scored, especially if Tony who had come on, didn't limp off injured 4 minutes 37 secs later...
But the boys held strong and denied any kind of point to the Black Eagles, the ref called time and HRC celebrated it's first win for the 1st XV in 1½ years. and what a win 50 unanswered points.
All aboard the bus with celebratory beers in hand, and the MC announced that International Rules of Buffalo were alive and in play.
On to the showers and then the 3rd half. whilst travelling to join Eagles for a few jars on the River Blue Cheese, the Team captain bore down and declared that Joonas would be sacked as Head Master as he had not given any head or received any head in 5 hours. Steve, MC, stand in fine master was selected. let it begin i heard whispered.
Cheers and see you on the next one.
Match report by Stephen Whittaker